Posts By: C4P

Whilst we can plan ahead, organise and prepare for most eventualities the reality is that we can’t possibly be ready for everything and anything. Things happen in our lives that are beyond our control and there is nothing we can do to stop this!

All we can do is control the controllable and hold on to the things that really matter. Here are some powerful principles taken from an article I read recently at www.mindterraincoaching.com

1. Whatever you do, do it really well. Let your work make this world a better place. Do everything you do to the best of your knowledge. We count on each other all the time so be excellent.

2. Learn to be flexible. We tend to see what we want to see. If you are set on what something should be you won’t see what it truly is.

3. Do what really matters to you. Support the world in a way that matters to you. If we do this the things that matter the most to most people will flourish.

4. Give up a sense of permanence – nothing lasts forever – good or bad

5. Be where the love is – Spend time with the people you love and the people who love you. Reach out, connect.

Accept that there are things you don’t understand yet – Allow the possibility that there might be something bigger than what we see, something that is perhaps not visible to us. Yet.

Original article:  http://mindterraincoaching.com/2015/12/06/feelingsafe/

A golfer that hits their shots in the dark has no idea how well they are doing! They same applies to any element of human performance – How can you possibly improve if you don’t know how well you are doing in the first place?

Feedback is vital if we are to improve so here are some top tips on giving effective feedback to others: Feedback is going to be effective if…

• It is descriptive rather than evaluative. By avoiding evaluative language, the receiver is less likely to respond defensively.
• It is specific rather than general. To be told – you did OK is less helpful than being told – “I especially liked the way that you waited for her to finish speaking and listened carefully to what she said”.
• It takes account of the needs of both receiver and giver of the feedback. Feedback which only considers the needs of the giver is not likely to be helpful to the recipient
• It is timely. Feedback is most useful when it is given as soon as possible following the observed event. This will of course depend upon the receiver’s readiness to hear.
• It is checked out with the receiver. It is important that the communication is clear and understood.
  The opportunity is given to the receiver to respond, or give further information/clarification.
• It is balanced in both quality and quantity, especially when there is both positive and negative feedback involved
• The person to whom the feedback is directed is invited to review and give feedback about the situation/issue first. This encourages the development of self-appraisal skills.
• The behaviour is controllable. Criticism of behaviour outside the control of the person is likely to be viewed as unfair and could give rise to feelings of resentment. Frustration may also be an outcome.
• It is future orientated, not backward looking. Whilst focusing on what went wrong, and why, may relieve your feelings, the objective is to get different behaviour in the future from the other person. Good feedback must focus on what to do rather than what was done.

Feedback is a way of helping someone to learn. It is designed to achieve a specific change in the individual’s behaviour in a way that will help them. Feedback is centred on the needs of the receiver, since otherwise it merely serves to relieve the feelings of the giver, at the receiver’s expense.

HAPPY 2015!

From everyone at Think Back Look Forward Ltd.

Here is a list of 10 things you need to give up this year if you really want to move forward:

1. Letting the opinions of others control your life – it’s not about what others think, it’s what you think about yourself that counts
2. The shame of past failures – Your past does not equal your future
3. Being indecisive about what you want – You will never leave where you are until you decide where you would rather be
4. Procrastinating on the goals that matter to you – the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.
5. Choosing to do nothing – you don’t choose where or when you die but you do choose how to live!
6. Your need to be right – aim for success but never give up your right to be wrong!
7. Running from problems that should be fixed – face the issues, fox the problem, communicate and appreciate
8. Making excuses rather than decisions – most long term failures are the outcome of people who make excuses instead of decisions
9. Overlooking the positive points in your life – What you see depends entirely on what you are looking for
10. Not appreciating the present moment – when we concentrate purely on the future we lose track of the present!

Thanks to Marc at www.facebook.com/tributetostephencovey